RITUALS OF LIFE

My youngest daughter’s nursery teacher, Glenda  Escubio of Lucao, Dagupan visited me in our office a few weeks ago. After a few pleasantries, she and her groom Ericson Ramirez broached this question, “Can you be our ninang to our wedding?”

I smiled and immediately said yes. I agreed because it is a Filipino custom that a person should always say yes whenever one gets invited to be a part of a wedding entourage.

Second, I knew the bride so well and it would be an honor to stand as one of the sponsors in her nuptial.

So, on the 19^th day of February, there I was, dressed to the nines and hoping that I wouldn’t stumble on my way to the altar.

Finally, the bride arrived. As she walked down the aisle, we held our breath not only because she looked splendid in her immaculate gown but because we all witnessed how she tried to hold back the tears that eventually cascaded down her face. As if on cue, everyone was moved to tears and I began to hear a symphony of sniffles and whimpers.

I wondered what could be the reason for such emotional trip to the altar. Could it be because the bride’s mother wasn’t present? She passed away last year, I was told. Could it be because Glenda was finally going to marry the man she really loved?  Perhaps, it was a mix of both.

A kumare , Mrs. LourdesTamayo—a teacher from West Central Elementary School in Dagupan City—who was standing beside me commented, “ I feel like crying. I remember my own daughter’s wedding.”

My mind then drifted and traveled back in time.  How many times have I cried as a mother?

I remembered the first time I held my daughter in my arms. Despite the excruciating pain I had to endure during labor, the moment I saw my child and how she snuggled close to me, all the pain I had experienced was instantly obliterated from my memory. Though a tear escaped from my eyes, I couldn’t help but wear a beaming smile as my heart was filled with an incomparable joy.

And then, there were other emotional occasions:  the first time my daughter went up the stage to receive her graduation diploma, the first time she won a poem reading contest, the first time she delivered a speech at the People’s Astrodome during one commencement exercise and yes, even the first time she begged off not to come with us to the mall because she found new friends and they had a different agenda for the day.

What would I feel if my daughters would one day leave us to start a family of their own? Would the separation make me shed crocodile tears?

After attending a wedding ceremony, the following day I found myself at Eternal Gardens attending the burial of Kuya Mel Velasco’s brother, Wilfredo  Velasco of Carael, Dagupan City.

While the casket was being brought down and heaps of soil were being shoveled over it, I began to have goose bumps as members of the family let out a wail while the rest held each other, somber in their white and black attire. I stood there in silence, empathizing with the family and understanding the pain of losing someone special on Valentine’s Day.

While the wedding of a friend elicited tears of joy, the burial of a family friend evoked feelings of lost and sorrow.

While the wedding depicted a new chapter in one’s lifetime, the other held a promise of a journey in another realm.

Such a paradox! But all these scenarios are real. These events form facts of life which we all have to go through.

Then, a realization dawns. Nothing is constant. Everything evolves. Seasons change.

One day we all have to walk down a daughter down the aisle. One day, we all have to bid a special someone goodbye. Our consolation is, we have memories to cherish and the lessons we have learned from our triumphs and pain during these rituals in life are what we can carry to prepare us to the next.

To the new Ramirez couple, I wish you all the best. To the Velasco family, my deepest condolences.